期待的痛。

有人说，有人问安的早晨是晴天的伊始
，有人祝安的夜晚是晴天的落幕。
丝丝细雨不曾停歇，片片孤云忘了漂泊，
我依偎的晴天，碎了满地，留与我悲伤。
我徜徉的风景，竟是虚幻的梦，
羞涩的藏于心的最深处，
但无情揉碎在无人祝安的阴天。
阴天里，我的梦，似真亦幻的你，犹安好？
或许梦想与理想的区别在于梦想是虚幻的，
而理想是现实的。华丽的梦，
不需如何构造，也会光鲜照人。只是若是。。。
我倦了，累了，眼眸干燥，面容憔悴。曾经徜徉的梦，
羞涩的梦，轻易破碎在梦想的高空，洒落一地悲伤的碎片。
此刻，我，终于明白！
因为个人的要求导致我梦碎了。。。

Xian,11.24am

学会了。

天真的我总以为就是那样，
不会自己主动去摸索一下事情的真相。
意味的去吸取眼前的东西，
可是不去考虑它的为什么。
哎，这怎么行噢？？
当初告诉自己了什么噢。
怎么那么快就忘了自己当初的决心呢？
没关系吧，勇敢的前进吧！！
也许这也好，至少让我了解我需要的是什么。
该知道的是什么，身为这个的我，又要知道什么呢。
就这样吧，一次的挫折将是前进的一小步吧！
谢谢在远方的你噢！！我知道该怎么做了。

Xian 2.51PM

新的开始。

好久已经没有到此写部落格了。
或许一段忙碌的生活吧。
进入大学的第5天了，开始有空写部落格。
这几天里正在尝试开始新的生活。
现在也可以说已经安顿多了吧。
除了地方上的不认识，其余的就看着学吧。
这几天还过得不错吧，慢慢的尝试大学生活的滋味吧。
下个星期就要开课了噢，我会加油的噢。
因为在远方的你也在加油啊。
所以哪里可以不为自己加点油呢！！
今天好开心的可以认识到学哥，也是槟城人噢。
呵呵，难得那么早就可以认识到学哥，没想到勒。
希望可以借助他们的帮忙吧，好让我可以达到我想要的。
会给你惊喜的噢！！听到吗，在远方和我一起加油的你！

Xian,5.30PM

一丝的感触。

一直以来的梦想就在眼前，
可是得到的却不是自己要的。
心里一时涌起的矛盾增加了。
也许早已告诉自己方向了，
但当遇到的时候却是不知所措了。
偶尔觉得自己还是舍不得，
不过至少还有你，
让我看清楚了。

Xian 2.52PM

The same cycle.

It had been a while since that unpleasant feeling was there.

And here once again it starts surging up rapidly.
Being that pathetic peering out at the window full of mist.
Reminds me of my own self which had been covered by tears.
The blurry scene had soon taken over the bright nice day.
Leaving behind hatred and anger which is at the boiling point.
How would I be able to convince myself that this are the reality.
When i decide to shun away whenever encountered.
Always on the way of escaping due to the fear of facing it again.
Choose to isolate myself from the real true world.
A world that is so devastating.
It had seem that those seeds covered with fear and hatred had soon found its way.
Founded its way to reproduce its unfavorable gene deep beneath myself.
I tried to nip it from the bud but to avail,its all a failure.
A failure!!!
Thoughts of giving it up and not try to preserve ends up in despair.
The more I try to convince my self the more at the same time I hurt myself.
Trying to be the best of both world is like sentencing yourself to death.
A choice that can never be accepted by any one party that is to be neglected.
Rumors all over you trying to defame you.Trying to get over you.
And when you hope there is at least something to turn to,
it eventually turn on to you.And that is when you are entering the same place.
A place that no one will change for you but only for you to suffer yourself in silence.
The pain leaving inside would never be understand by the rest.
The tears flowing down like waterfalls are to be laugh off by others.
So what the point trying to preserve and endure all the pain.
The pain between standing firm to your own ground and the pain to give up.
A pain much more than anything would never heal unless you decide to face it and heal it.
Or you are being like a normal person who is asking for death in silence.

Xian 12.55PM 
     

还是因为一时。

好多时候总是为了自己的一时吧，
却是带来了许多不必要的状况。
只为了争夺那一个位，那一口气，
却带来了许多后事。
也许谢谢你的指点，
以后我学会了，也不会再冲动了。
因为这件事，我长大了。

Xian 10.40AM

大雨的陪伴。

突来的乌云掩盖了大地，
自己纳闷的心情掩盖了自己的快乐。
阵阵的大风猛猛的打在脸上，
似乎生气我就是那么的狭窄。
就在走廊上没有目的徘徊，
不知不觉来到了自己熟悉的地方。
雨点慢慢的大起来了把自己给弄湿。
依然放不下的我任凭雨点打在身上。
恨不得自己在这里就给你们战胜了吧。
久了，觉得还是它最了解我了
也许也在告诉我别那么火了吧，
就消消我的气吧。
可是怎么就是不能，不能放下。
那。。一直围绕着自己，
固执的我再次让自己满身是伤痕。
还是它陪我一起掉水，
陪我一样乌黑的心情，
陪我一样短暂的度过，
就这样雨过天晴了，
我的心情也随着好些了。